With the impending divorce of Schwarzenegger and Shriver comes the intersection of marriage and politics.  Not for the first time, of course, there is politics in marriage, and lots of marriage in politics.  For starters, he married a Kennedy.

Here’s another common ground: there should be term limits.  It’s been accepted in politics, it’s time to consider it for marriage.

What?  Am I suggesting that “til death do us part” be replaced by “til 20 years from the date of marriage?”  Why, yes, I am.  Is it because I have been divorced twice?  Why, yes it is, at least in part.

Here’s the thing.   Marriage has a hypnotic effect on us the same way love does.  Love is a drug, someday there will be scientific studies breaking down the chemicals it produces in our brains which basically overtake all of the other chemicals and render our sense and sight basically useless.  All stemming from a Darwinian biological imperative which necessitates that procreation be priority 1, and first comes love, then….  You know the rest.  That’s at least my highly unscientific opinion having fallen fast and hard a few times and still scratching my head over why and the life-changing consequences.

Marriage is the offshoot of love.  Because love is possessive, marriage is exclusive.  Because love is intense and we never ever want to lose it, marriage is forever.  I won’t dwell on the exclusive part since, well, it can be debated and I’m not an advocate of open marriage notwithstanding the constant breaches of the security fence marriage is supposed to erect.  So to speak.

But if the exclusivity component of marriage is under constant bombardment by those pesky things, facts, the longevity component is nearly down for the count and someday we will need to come to terms with the fact that, if half or more marriages are not forever, then what’s the alternative? Continue reading →