We can’t get enough of Weinergate! The big question around these parts is – will Oscar Meyer end up a Sudden Bachelor? Here’s a post with some tips on how he can prevent the world of SB:
Condemning is easy; fixing is hard.
If Anthony Weiner and Huma Abedin came to my office this is what I’d do: First, I’d listen closely as they talked about how their marriage had been shattered by Mr. Weiner’s forays into salacious photographs and suggestive texts. Perhaps Ms. Abedin would express shock and betrayal, rage and sorrow. Mr. Weiner might talk about his guilt and shame. And the way the press was on a witch-hunt.
After conveying my sadness for their misery, I might tell them that in my clinical experience I’ve seen relationships where one partner has deeply betrayed another fall apart, and others be repaired. I’d ask them if they wanted to remain married. If Ms. Abedin said “It’s over,” Mr. Weiner might be disoriented, crestfallen, and even desperate.
“I think there are two kinds of “It’s over,” I’d say to Ms. Abedin. “In the first, it is over — one or both people have given up on the relationship and nothing can be done to save it. All bridges to reconciliation have been burned and hopelessness sabotages any wish to preserve the relationship.” Read the full post here.
Obviously, this week’s SB of the week (in waiting) is Anthony “Big” Weiner. Is it me or is there a spate of “what were they thinking” political and other celebrity meltdowns lately? This one, at least as much as the others, clearly warrants the Seth and Amy SNL “really” treatment.
- Rep Weiner- you watch TV and read the papers? And you saw Vidder, Ensign, Christopher Lee all have their moments on hot coals because of their indiscretions, yet you felt you were immune? Really?
- You continued the bizarre penile exposure tweets, etc. both before and AFTER your brand new marriage. Really?
- You went on a frenetic media binge this last week to deny the allegations thereby frosting the cake of your self-immolation when there was NO WAY you could escape the coming home to roost of those tweets to at least 6 different people. Really??
We could debate for a long time whether lying to the public is an act warranting resignation. As the pundits have been noting all week, Clinton never would have been elected, Vidder would not still be in office, in fact as one commentator said last night, Washington would be a “ghost town” if everyone who lied in public had to resign. Same as the courtrooms of America if lawyers couldn’t lie. Ever notice how many politicians are lawyers? But I digress, being one myself it’s better not to throw stones from this glass house.
All I can say is, you will never go broke betting on the derailing effect of our sexual proclivities at all levels of life. It’s very lucky if your sexual tastes tend toward sex with your monogamous partner. But if not, whether you are in a committed relationship or no, the power of those demons will, for a certain percentage of us, form cracks in and ultimately blow through the walls of the supposed fortress of our marriages. Not to mention careers- especially in politics where everyone from professionals to tweens armed only with an iPhone is digging for dirt 24-7.
Sure Weinergate is a cautionary tale. (B.t.w. can we just finally STOP calling everything “GATE”?? It’s been like 40 years already since the original “gate” and there’s no gate, anywhere, relating to anything anymore!?)
But unfortunately, like some instructive story we were read when we were kids, most of us aren’t going to remember the Jiminy Cricket punch line at the moment of truth and we are all doomed to repeat our mistakes and those of others, particularly in the sexual arena. Sex rules, reason drools, and so- regrettably, watch this space for the next sex-fueled initiation into sudden bachelorhood!