Guest Post: No Bears At The Beach

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Editor’s note: This post comes from Maria Bastet  - a hair removal enthusiast who blogs on all topics concerning the subject. You can find more of her articles located HairRemoval.org.

Chest hair is a good thing. It sets you apart from the effeminate bodies of the 98-pound weaklings on the beach. It’s an evolutionary fact: women are attracted to men who exhibit higher levels of testosterone, and chest hair is one of the main ways you show it. (Thick facial hair can be, too, but that ebbs and flows. Rather than a full beard, you may be better off with a moustache. Hey, it’s worked for Tom Selleck all these years, right?)

That evolutionary impulse has its limitations, however. Hair where it’s not supposed to be – on the back, for example – pushes potential mates away. The lesson here is this: if you want to meet girls at the beach this summer, get rid of that rug on your back.

So, how do you do it? Well, if you’ve seen 40 Year-Old Virgin, you know that waxing isn’t just for women anymore. Waxing works like this:

  1. Spread a thin layer of hot wax material over your back hair.
  2. Apply a cloth strip to the wax.
  3. Rip it off in a quick fashion.
  4. Scream like the little schoolgirl you are.
  5. Repeat every 2-8 weeks. Continue reading →

Sudden Bachelor Of The Week: Anthony Weiner

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Obviously, this week’s SB of the week (in waiting) is Anthony “Big” Weiner.  Is it me or is there a spate of “what were they thinking” political and other celebrity meltdowns lately?  This one, at least as much as the others, clearly warrants the Seth and Amy SNL “really” treatment.

  • Rep Weiner-  you watch TV and read the papers?  And you saw Vidder, Ensign, Christopher Lee all have their moments on hot coals because of their indiscretions, yet you felt you were immune?   Really?
  • You continued the bizarre penile exposure tweets, etc. both before and AFTER your brand new marriage.  Really?
  • You went on a frenetic media binge this last week to deny the allegations thereby frosting the cake of your self-immolation when there was NO WAY you could  escape the coming home to roost of those tweets to at least 6 different people.  Really??

We could debate for a long time whether lying to the public is an act warranting resignation.  As the pundits have been noting all week, Clinton never would have been elected, Vidder would not still be in office, in fact as one commentator said last night, Washington would be a “ghost town” if everyone who lied in public had to resign.  Same as the courtrooms of America if lawyers couldn’t lie.  Ever notice how many politicians are lawyers?  But I digress, being one myself it’s better not to throw stones from this glass house.

All I can say is, you will never go broke betting on the derailing effect of our sexual proclivities at all levels of life.  It’s very lucky if your sexual tastes tend toward sex with your monogamous partner.  But if not, whether you are in a committed relationship or no, the power of those demons will, for a certain percentage of us, form cracks in and ultimately blow through the walls of the supposed fortress of our marriages.   Not to mention careers- especially in politics where everyone from professionals to tweens armed only with an iPhone is digging for dirt 24-7.

Sure Weinergate is a cautionary tale.   (B.t.w. can we just finally STOP calling everything “GATE”??  It’s been like 40 years already since the original “gate” and there’s no gate, anywhere, relating to anything anymore!?)

But unfortunately, like some instructive story we were read when we were kids, most of us aren’t going to remember the Jiminy Cricket punch line at the moment of truth and we are all doomed to repeat our mistakes and those of others, particularly in the sexual arena.  Sex rules, reason drools, and so- regrettably, watch this space for the next sex-fueled initiation into sudden bachelorhood!

 

Life Lessons: “It’s Been a Long Time – I Shouldn’t Have Left You!”

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Hey Sudden Bachelors (& Bachelorettes)

I don’t know if you guys missed me, but I really did miss you! I apologize for being gone for so long, but I was going through a few “processes” in my personal and professional life. On May 1st, I officially retired from my “job” as a police officer. Everyone I’ve told has been shocked … “You’ve got 20 years in already?!” No … 11 years. In a nutshell, I took advantage of a situation and decided it best for myself to walk away from law enforcement. So, I guess that makes me somewhat an “Occupationally” Sudden Bachelor!

I just ended an 11 year relationship with a job I loved, but in the long run was eating me up inside. Not too very long after I got myself off the street and working inside, I began to see a change. I began to see a change in my demeanor with people in general and my wife in particular. In my mind’s eye I began to see myself as I was in uniform, and I because I wasn’t wearing that uniform anymore, I didn’t have to be that man anymore. And because I stopped being that man, the new man I became is one who doesn’t take so much so seriously. From January to May, I actually lost 25 pounds! Basically, there were some things that I realized I just had to care a little less about. I had to reorganize a few of my priorities.

Having said that … Let’s move forward! As “Sudden Bachelors (& Bachelorettes), isn’t that what we have to do anyway? In the words of Ray Bradbury said, “Living at risk is jumping off the cliff and building your wings on the way down.”

So, you have my word that you will hear from me more moving forward. Allow me to share with you a video of a speech I gave to an assembly of high school students last week.

Take Care & God Bless,
Harold S. Reed, Jr.
(Your “Motiv-ACTIONal” Speaker)

Sudden Bachelor(s) Of The Week: Arnold Schwarzenegger (& Dominique)

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Sudden bachelor of the week.  Let’s see.  Arnold.  Dominique.  Arnold.  Dominique.  Well, I have to go with Arnold.  Firstly because- a BACHELOR named DOMINIQUE!  Sorry, cheap shot.  Secondly, well OK, let’s split the difference.

Arnold- You have to give the sperminator credit for flawless timing and very non-blind ambition.  Wow, letting this worst kept secret come out officially minutes after he left office?  Cold doesn’t do it justice.  I mean, we here at SB are usually just a tad biased toward the male point of view but it’s really hard to defend this one unless you are just bowled over with admiration for steely eyed Austro-Hungarian lust for power (in addition to just plan lust) at all costs.  One thing’s for sure- at least no one will end up on the skids due to this split-up!

Dominique?  Clearly not worthy of the feminine name.  Takeaway?  Power of the penis over politics and prudence.  And if that’s not enough alliteration, his prurient pathetic power-mad play for p—– (rhymes with stussy) at the peak of his political power can only be said to be- par for the course for people at his level of prominence, though over the top even by that measure.  Nothing like a week at Rikers to cool your ardor I guess.  My suggestion for where Dom should go into exile after whatever fate awaits him?  Thailand!

It almost makes you feel sorry for the perpetrators.  I mean, sex is awesome but for these guys, it’s like- a chasm that can never be filled?  Sorry.  Big SB news week anyway!

Marital Term Limits

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With the impending divorce of Schwarzenegger and Shriver comes the intersection of marriage and politics.  Not for the first time, of course, there is politics in marriage, and lots of marriage in politics.  For starters, he married a Kennedy.

Here’s another common ground: there should be term limits.  It’s been accepted in politics, it’s time to consider it for marriage.

What?  Am I suggesting that “til death do us part” be replaced by “til 20 years from the date of marriage?”  Why, yes, I am.  Is it because I have been divorced twice?  Why, yes it is, at least in part.

Here’s the thing.   Marriage has a hypnotic effect on us the same way love does.  Love is a drug, someday there will be scientific studies breaking down the chemicals it produces in our brains which basically overtake all of the other chemicals and render our sense and sight basically useless.  All stemming from a Darwinian biological imperative which necessitates that procreation be priority 1, and first comes love, then….  You know the rest.  That’s at least my highly unscientific opinion having fallen fast and hard a few times and still scratching my head over why and the life-changing consequences.

Marriage is the offshoot of love.  Because love is possessive, marriage is exclusive.  Because love is intense and we never ever want to lose it, marriage is forever.  I won’t dwell on the exclusive part since, well, it can be debated and I’m not an advocate of open marriage notwithstanding the constant breaches of the security fence marriage is supposed to erect.  So to speak.

But if the exclusivity component of marriage is under constant bombardment by those pesky things, facts, the longevity component is nearly down for the count and someday we will need to come to terms with the fact that, if half or more marriages are not forever, then what’s the alternative? Continue reading →

Guest Post: Been Through A Break-up or Divorce? Throw a B.I.G. Party!

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Editor’s note: This post comes from the B.I.G. party crew (b*tch and/or bastard is gone).

It’s Saturday night at the Cellar Pub in the small ski town of Sun Valley, Idaho.  There’s nothing unusual about the bustling scene of après ski revelers with the exception of a group huddled around one end of the bar.  To the casual onlooker you could be forgiven for thinking that a birthday celebration was at the heart of this group’s festive spirit.  Each of the 20 guests are wearing the same Black baseball cap with Nick’s B.I.G. Celebration stitched in white on the front.  But it was not a birthday celebration that prompted this joyous occasion.  A closer examination of the back of the baseball cap and the B.I.G acronym is revealed in all its glory - B*tch Is Gone! (www.bitchisgone.com)  Yep, Nick and all his friends (male and female) are celebrating his divorce.

It turns out Nick signed the divorce papers earlier in the week ending a long year of misery dealing with his ex-wife and her lawyer.  The details of what his ex-wife did that led to the divorce seemed common knowledge in the bar, and there was no shortage of people lined up to buy him a drink. Continue reading →

Guest Post: Divorce Can Make Things Better

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Editor’s Note: This post comes from our new friend Leo Averbach – Author of Breakup: enduring divorce.

I went through the divorce mill and came out the other side feeling better for it. However, it was not plain sailing. The breakup was tough, really tough. Firstly, I was shocked to learn that my wife was having an affair. It hit me like a train; I was torn apart. Secondly, divorce was not in my script at all, so when I saw my marriage crumbling beyond repair after nearly twenty years together and three kids, I was totally disoriented.

In fact, my whole life disintegrated. My family was in tatters; I was no longer a husband or life-partner and was struggling to remain a father. I lost all sense of who I was and my confidence plummeted. I felt completely deskilled instead of the reasonably competent  naked at the counter of life. For me this was loss on a grand scale. Most of all, I felt emasculated and impotent in all senses.

Somehow I managed to turn the situation around. It took time, of course, and I was fortunate to have help, in the form of therapy. The therapy helped me to rebuild my confidence, to start believing in myself and to put myself center-stage. I shed a lot of my emotional armor and began to develop an awareness of my feelings. This fundamentally changed the way I functioned, shifting me from being ‘in my head’ to being ‘in my heart’ more; from looking out to looking inward. I gradually came to the realization that “it’s all in me”, that we see the world as we are, not as it is. Continue reading →