Okay … You met her. You put your best foot forward – you were looking good, smelling good … You even cleaned your apartment the first time she came over … AND YOU COOKED! Everything you did paid off AND YOU GOT HER. Guess what? She was doing the same things on her end too!
This is how relationships begin. Everyone puts their best foot forward and they portray themselves as attractively as possible. But here’s the reality of it … ALL OF THAT IS HARD WORK! Not only is it hard work, but the only reason why you’re putting in that work is to achieve the goal of getting the girl … or maybe just just to get a piece (of the girl). Once you’ve achieved the goal of getting one another, you are not as “inspired” to keep putting on those fronts.
As you continue to develop your relationship, you also begin to notice things that get on your nerves. ALSO, you will begin to do things that get on her nerves. This is not intentional … but inevitable, because in the very beginning, you were putting your best foot forward. The two of you were on your P’s & Q’s and actively focused on NOT being annoying. But now you’re working that hard … and the REAL YOU is starting to come out.
As you proceeded in your relationship you called yourselves, “going together” or “going steady” (yeah these are the same terms & titles we used as kids, but I always say that an adult ain’t nothing but a kid with responsibilities). Here is where we get into the meat of the matter. Ask yourself … and BE HONEST … were the two of you “going together” or “GROWING TOGETHER?” If you were just “going together” you are where you are now as a result of it. You were “going together” until you wound up going and ending up nowhere.
The reality is we all grow. You are not the man you were five years ago and the man you were then was not the man you were five years prior to that. With life’s experiences piling up in our lives and affecting our outlooks on life, we change. Now imagine the same thing going on with that female as well. You are both growing and changing. In the beginning you were working on yourselves individually to make yourselves appealing to the other person; however, the missing link in most relationships is that they don’t work together at GROWING together. You both changed, but you did not change together. You changed as individuals and because those changes were building up and getting stronger, you ended up where you are now.
As you pick up the pieces and begin moving on, take stock of this revelation within yourself. Take closer notice of the changes that occur in you. Whether it’s learning a new word and using it in your vocabulary or a new or different way of thinking. SEE the changes going on in you. As you get back out into the “game,” SEE yourself and the things you’re doing in the beginning. Don’t do anything in the beginning that you aren’t willing to do throughout the relationship. In short … KEEP IT REAL. Watch for these same changes in the women you meet moving forward. Look for those who are putting their best foot forward and those who are keeping it real.
When you find someone who is keeping it just as real as you are from the door, you are less likely to end up surprised when the fronts and facades begin to fall down, and you’ll find yourself with someone you’re more likely to GROW with.