Are You A “Happy” Sudden Bachelor?

We know that for many of you, Sudden Bachelorhood is a drag – at least at the beginning. And while we tend to focus on helping you – the unhappy, confused Sudden Bachelor, lets not forget that some of you are very HAPPY to be a SB. Some of you have it made. Dig this excerpt from a recent article in Details:

Since childhood, we’ve been hearing about the one in two marriages that fails. Not much has changed—a study released in 2005 by the U.S. Census Bureau showed that only about 65 percent of unions make it to the 15-year mark. But while the numbers are about the same as they were a few decades ago, the archetypal 21st-century bachelor is a very different beast from those who came before him—one who would be the envy of the Mr. Mom–style married man. He’s not a do-nothing charmer like Jack from Three’s Company. or Joey from Friends; nor is he Empty Nest’s Charley, an aging Lothario laden with medallions. He’s . . . well, he’s Samantha from Sex and the City.

This wealthy, formerly married guy is situated squarely in the marketing industry’s bull’s-eye. He’s not necessarily saddled with alimony anymore—the Equality in Marriage Institute reports that the number of prenup inquiries it received more than tripled from 2003 to 2005, to 5,000 a month. And divorced men from 25 to 44 have a mean income that’s more than $6,000 higher than their never-married counterparts’, according to 2004 figures from the Census Bureau.

In other words, childless, six-figure-salaried men are now catapulting out of marriage to find themselves not alienated but greeted by a smorgasbord of products and real estate packaged and marketed especially for them. High-end residences that were seemingly focus-grouped to appeal to newly single men are popping up in metropolitan areas, glittering with accoutrements like Food Network–ready kitchens, extravagant on-site gyms, and embedded sound systems.

Cushy living spaces aren’t the only thing making the world a friendly place for the new breed of bachelors. Women—especially those cultivating their careers first and marrying later—are welcoming the freshly divorced thirtysomething guy with open arms. It turns out that being divorced at 35 isn’t a red flag as much as it is a stamp of approval.

“If you’re single and you’ve never been married at this age, you’re the red-light bachelor,” says Derek (who asked that his real name not be used), 36, an art director in New York who’s been divorced for six years. “Every girl’s looking at you like, ‘What’s wrong with him? Is he gay? Is he crazy?’ Having been married, all that’s wiped away. You’re a single guy, you’ve already been married, so you’ve already been through the first interview.”

“Guys who get married younger and then go back in the dating pool are much less likely to be seen as damaged goods than they might once have been,” Kimmel says.

So don’t fret all you depressed Sudden Bachelors – take a few notes from your “happy” counterparts and enjoy life. Read the rest of the article here.

Temporary Sudden Bachelors

Today’s post comes from a guest reader called “Happy Husband.”

I’m a happily married guy and an avid reader of SuddenBachelor.com. While I’m not a Sudden Bachelor (thank god), I’m empathic. Life changes are not easy. At my house, my wife and I both cook, clean, do chores, etc. I’m not clueless when it comes to taking care of myself, the home and others. My wife recently had to go away for business and has been gone for over a week now. I guess that makes me a Temporary Sudden Bachelor. When my wife is home, I can go into the kitchen and cook some food with no problem. I can hit the grocery store and stock up with ease. Now that she’s away – cooking, cleaning, errands – it all seems like the hardest thing in the world to do. I don’t get it.  I guess cooking for yourself is no fun. When my wife is home, we keep the fridge full. Now that she’s gone, it’s like a barren wasteland in there. My dad lives close by and it turns out that his wife has also been out of town for over week – making him a Temp SB as well. So I decided to drive up and spend some time with him – seeing that we were both flying solo. When I got there, I went to get something from his fridge and could not help but laugh – his fridge was bare and empty just like mine and we definitely ate out for every meal. Sudden Bachelorhood ain’t easy – I’m thankful that my stay is only temporary.

Don’t Follow This Advice: “Cut Your Ex’s Face”

Hey there Sudden Bachelors. We realize that many of you recent SBs might be feeling a tad depressed over your breakup, and some of you might be seeking advice in order to feel human again. Well, Danny Dyer, the British advice columnist, says that the solution to your heartache is to “cut your ex’s face, and then no one will want her.” Yikes!

Dyer, who’s column “Ask Danny” runs in ZOO magazine, received a note from a heartbroken 23 -year-old Sudden Bachelor. He told Dyer ” I broke up with my missus a few months ago and can’t seem to get over her.” Dyer’s advice:

You’ve got nothing to worry about, son. I’d suggest going out on a rampage with the boys, getting on the booze and smashing anything that moves. Then, when some bird falls for you, you can turn the tables and break her heart. Of course, the other option is to cut your ex’s face, and then no one will want her…

Needless to say, his advice created quite a sh*t storm and Dyer issued the following statement:

This is totally out of order, I am totally devastated. I have been completely misquoted. This is not the advice I would give any member of the public I do not condone violence against women.

Misquoted???

We here at Sudden Bachelor don’t condone violence and we don’t want any of you going to jail, so please seek the advice of someone you trust when life feels a bit “too real.”